Do Something to Refresh Your Soul

Sorry for the lack of posts around here. About eight weeks ago, I started rehearsals for a local theater production. We closed a fantastic run of Peter Pan on Friday.

For some reason, despite my anxiety issues, I have always been a performer. I have been dancing all my life. I jumped at any opportunity to sing with choirs and act with ensembles AS LONG AS IT WASN'T A COMPETITION. If you know what "solo and ensemble" is... I hated doing that with a passion. Ugh! So much, but that's another post.

After I got married and moved to Eau Claire, I auditioned for my first local theater production.

After that, I was hooked, and performing became a major part of my life.

I even got to be in a show with my hubby! 

This is just a sampling of shows I was involved with whether is was on stage or doing choreography.

The last show I did was when Gwenyth was about 10 months old. Originally, I was just doing choreography, but ended up with a small but memorable role in Gypsy.

Yep, that's me. I played a stripper. I have lights around my neck, on my bum, and on my chest. It was a funny gimmick for a funny character. 

I think I love acting so much, because I get to be someone else for awhile. Acting takes focus; you have to leave everything else at the door. You can't think about "life" when trying to put on a believable performance, and other actors are counting on you for accurate line delivery. 

Working with cast members, directors, choreographers, etc. is brain stimulating, and it is extremely invigorating to work with other creatives. It's a relationship of trust that is very unique. Usually, beautiful friendships are made within a cast and crew.

Despite all the positives, doing shows has not been feasible since having kids. Rehearsals are a HUGE time commitment. Tech and performance week is grueling. The rehearsal schedule is especially difficult when my husband works mostly evenings during the week. With such young children, I am just not willing to give up that much time with them!

I was honored to be asked to be in Peter Pan, and was only able to do it because of the extreme flexibility of the director (shout out to Jake of Downstage Left!) and a slightly different rehearsal schedule than the others I have done. I am thankful to my Dad who made the trip to watch the kiddos every Monday evening and my in-laws who take them on Wednesdays. Without the village, I couldn't have done this show.

My husband was so supportive, and I realize just how lucky I am to have him. He saw first hand how much this experiences revitalized me, and we all know when Mamma's happy, everybody's happy, right?

I'm not going to deny that I went through times of guilt during these past several weeks. Like... any money making for the household was pretty minimal. I fed my kids plenty of convenience foods, and they watched a lot of TV. There were times when my husband would come home a bit stressed and all of a sudden, I felt guilty that I was having so much fun! (ridiculous, I know). 

I got over all that quickly though, don't worry, because in the end the positives WAY outweigh all that stuff. 

I conquered a lot of "left over" conditioned fears from my recent breakdowns.

I made new friends.

I was relishing in creative energy.

I feel like I got a piece of me that was missing back.

My soul feels refreshed, and I realize I need to refresh it more often. 

I spend SO MUCH TIME tending to the needs of others that I forget about my own. I'm not talking the basics of shelter and food and clothing. I'm talking about the things that make us feel alive! 

I tend to believe that because I enjoy being home with my kids, and I enjoy my free lance work, that should be enough to be happy. After all, there are so many people that hate what they do and feel miserable on a daily basis, right? 

The fact is, even if we are blessed to be able to do things we love on a daily basis, it can still be exhausting! 

So, if it's been awhile since you've refreshed your soul, I encourage you to do it. Finagle your schedule. Call upon your village. Let go of the guilt. Make it happen! It will do wonders for everyone in your immediate influence.

What do YOU do to refresh your soul? Do you get to do it very often? What challenges do you face when you know you need to refresh? Start a conversation in the comments.